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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28149303">What's Past is Prologue</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Persiflage/pseuds/Persiflage'>Persiflage</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Berena Secret Santa 2020 [7]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Holby City</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst with a Happy Ending, Berena Secret Santa 2020, Bernie Wolfe Lives, Bernie Wolfe's Cottage, Bernie Wolfe: World's Okay-est Lesbian, Christmas Fluff, Christmas Presents, Domestic Fluff, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, F/F, Gift Work, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, Permanent Injury, Post-Canon Fix-It, Prompt Fic, Serena Campbell: Bisexual Extraordinaire</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 16:48:38</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>16,000</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28149303</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Persiflage/pseuds/Persiflage</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Post-canon fix-it: Bernie Wolfe lives and she and Serena are preparing for Christmas with their families.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Greta Haynes/Jason Haynes, Morven Digby/Cameron Dunn, Serena Campbell/Bernie Wolfe</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Berena Secret Santa 2020 [7]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2027821</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>53</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Berena Secret Santa 2020</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. What is Christmas? It is tenderness for the past,</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sanctitatem/gifts">Sanctitatem</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Written for Sanctitatem for the Berena Secret Santa 2020.  She requested <i>Soft, fluffy, established relationship, happiness</i> which I sorted of mashed up with <i>Bernie comes back from the dead reunion (probably be angst/hurt-comfort to start but happy ending)</i>. (Sort of because we're past the reunion and into established relationship territory, but Bernie surviving the explosion in Mogadishu is important to this story.)</p><p>Anyways, I hope you enjoy this fic that's mostly full of domestic Christmassy fluff. I'm sorry it escaped me. (Wretched Bitch Muse!)</p>
    </blockquote><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Bernie and Serena begin their preparations for Christmas amidst Bernie's struggles with the past.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Bernie’s sitting on the garden bench, a mug of coffee clutched in her hands, gazing out at the riot of gold and red leaves on the trees, contemplating the fact that she didn’t expect to see Autumn in England again. Nor did she expect to find herself back with Serena Campbell, not after the way they had parted company the previous year. Serena hadn’t seemed interested in fighting for their relationship and while Bernie hadn’t considered her momentary betrayal with her F1 to be the end of their relationship, Serena had seemed quite firm. So Bernie had walked away, had gone back to Nairobi to collect the remainder of her belongings, and had answered her former CO’s phone call with a firm ‘Yes, of course I’m interested’ when he’d rung her to ask her to consider returning to the RAMC, this time to train medics in Somalia. She’d headed off to Mogadishu with a sense of determination: she was not going to think about Serena anymore. That was done and over.</p>
<p>Of course, she’d been quite unable to stop thinking about Serena and it’d only got worse when her other ex, Alex Dawson, had reappeared in her life. She’d rocked up full of joy at seeing Bernie back on active duty again and quite convinced that the two of them could easily rekindle the spark they’d once had. Bernie, however, had known they couldn’t. What was a spark compared to the passionate inferno of loving Serena and being loved by her? Alex simply couldn’t compare and she couldn’t understand that Bernie was no longer interested. She had practically hounded Bernie to explain why she was turning her former lover down and in the end Bernie had lost her temper and practically shouted “Because you’re not the One, Alex. Okay? Are you satisfied? Serena Campbell is the greatest love affair of my life, not you.” And when Alex had burst into noisy tears, Bernie had said, “Well that’s what you get for insisting on knowing.” Then she’d walked out of her quarters and gone to perform three difficult and intricate surgeries back to back with a young man as her anaesthetist.</p>
<p>A week later she’d gone to the airport to meet a group of newly arrived medics and an explosion had ripped through the main building, killing and injuring dozens of people. Bernie had immediately waded into the fray, helping to rescue a number of the injured, then helping to ferry them to the nearby hospital in order to begin doing what she did best: saving lives and limbs. Then an explosion had ripped through the hospital as well, and as falling debris smashed into her body, Berenice Griselda Wolfe’s last thought before everything went black was of Serena Wendy Campbell, for whom she’d once promised to wait for eternity.</p>
<p>~ ~ ~ ~ ~</p>
<p>“There you are love.” </p>
<p>Bernie tears her unseeing gaze from the Autumnal splendour before her and looks around to see Serena, a coffee cup of her own clutched in one hand, making her way across the patio towards her.</p>
<p>“How long have you been out here?” she asks.</p>
<p>Bernie shakes her head slightly. “A while.”</p>
<p>Serena bumps their shoulders together. “And what were you thinking so deeply about?” she asks gently. “I called your name twice and you didn’t even twitch.”</p>
<p>She shakes her head a second time. “Doesn’t matter,” she says. “Nothing important.”</p>
<p>“That probably means you were either thinking about us breaking up or the explosions in Mogadishu,” Serena says softly.</p>
<p>Bernie frowns at her. “Both, as it happens, but how did you know?”</p>
<p>“It’s only if you’re thinking about one or other of those things that you refuse to tell me what you’re thinking about.” Serena leans in and pecks her briefly on the lips. “Any other time, if I ask you what you’re thinking about, you don’t hesitate to tell me.”</p>
<p>Bernie gives her a weak smile. It’s true – part of the deal they made when they decided to get back together was to talk more, and more openly, than they’d ever done before. They’ve been going to couple’s therapy together, as well as also going to therapy separately, and while Bernie had always previously found it hard to communicate properly, these days she doesn’t – a response, she knows, to almost dying for a second time.</p>
<p>“Are you warm enough?” Serena asks and Bernie only realises she’d shivered as Serena asks the question.</p>
<p>“Mmm. Could be a bit warmer, I think.”</p>
<p>Serena immediately sets her mug of coffee aside, takes Bernie’s empty mug from her and puts it down beside her own, then wraps her arms around her. Bernie sighs happily as she buries her nose in the neck of the outsize grey cardigan her lover is wearing. </p>
<p>“That helps,” she murmurs, lifting her face slightly to nudge her nose behind Serena’s ear.</p>
<p>“I know what else will help,” Serena says, pulling back, which makes Bernie whine just the tiniest amount. “Shush.” She sits back, then pulls off her cardigan and drapes it around Bernie’s shoulders. “I’ll go and get you some fresh coffee.” She picks up Bernie’s empty mug and disappears back into the house.</p>
<p>While she’s absent, Bernie takes a moment to pull Serena’s cardigan on properly, relishing the warmth of her lover’s body heat which she can feel trapped in the heavy woollen garment. She must’ve been sitting out here longer than she’d realised because she’s feeling really chilly now that she’s aware of her body. </p>
<p>Serena returns carrying a fresh mug of coffee, which Bernie accepts gratefully, then sits down beside her on the bench and retrieves her own mug. “So why were you thinking about Mogadishu?” she asks gently.</p>
<p>“I was thinking about how gorgeous the trees look with their Autumn leaves shining in the sun and thinking about the fact that I hadn’t expected to see another Autumn in England, and I especially didn’t expect to see it with you.”</p>
<p>“You know, you’ve never actually told me in detail about the explosion,” Serena says, pressing her shoulder, arm, thigh and knee against Bernie’s, a gesture that’s meant to convey comfort and reassurance, Bernie knows.</p>
<p>“Do you want me to?” Bernie asks a little disbelievingly.</p>
<p>Serena stares out at the trees, her expression contemplative as she takes a sip of her coffee. “I think so.”</p>
<p>Bernie takes a deep breath, a deep swallow of her coffee, then says, “Okay.”</p>
<p>~ ~ ~ ~ ~</p>
<p>Afterwards, after Bernie’s recounted the details in a halting manner, Serena’s free hand clutched in her own, and they’ve both wept a little because it had been such a near miss, they head back indoors and set about making themselves some breakfast. </p>
<p>Bernie is in charge of grilling the bacon while Serena’s in charge of scrambling the eggs as Bernie’s long given up attempting to scramble eggs without them sticking, something for which her lover seems to have a distinct knack.</p>
<p>Bernie slides the bacon onto their waiting plates, then pours them both another mug of coffee while Serena spoons the scrambled eggs onto the plates. Bernie switches on the radio to something classical, and they settle down to eat.</p>
<p>“What do you want to do today?” asks Serena between mouthfuls.</p>
<p>“I don’t know. I haven’t made any plans. Why, is there something you want to do?”</p>
<p>“I was going to drive into Truro. Thought you might like to come too.”</p>
<p>“Okay.”</p>
<p>“Good.” </p>
<p>They finish their breakfast in a companionable silence, then Serena loads the dishwasher while Bernie goes upstairs to grab a shirt, having returned Serena’s cardigan to her once they’d entered the kitchen. </p>
<p>She comes back downstairs to find Serena putting on her boots and smiles softly at her lover when she glances up and gives Bernie a warm smile. </p>
<p>“I do like that shirt,” Serena says, brushing her fingers down Bernie’s arm.</p>
<p>“Mmm, I believe you’ve mentioned that once or twice before,” she says, smirking. </p>
<p>Serena’s eyes dance with mirth as she slides her arms around Bernie and carefully presses her back against the wall before kissing her extremely thoroughly, one hand migrating into her hair, as it usually does when Serena kisses her.</p>
<p>When her lover releases her, both of them quite breathless, Bernie can’t help licking her lips, eyeing Serena speculatively.</p>
<p>“None of that,” she says, swatting Bernie’s arm, her tone full of fond amusement. “You can ravish me after we get back from Truro.”</p>
<p>“Is that a promise?” Bernie asks, both eyebrows raised.</p>
<p>That earns her a smirk, a raised eyebrow, and the ‘sexy walk’ as Bernie’s mentally dubbed it, in which Serena’s hips sway more noticeably than usual. “Maybe.” She tosses the word over her shoulder as she moves towards her car.</p>
<p>Bernie chuckles, pulls on her boots and coat, then follows Serena outside, pausing to lock the door before she climbs into the car. “Tease,” she says, her own voice as full of fond amusement as Serena’s had been moments ago.</p>
<p>Serena waggles her eyebrows and smirks. “Who me?” she says in a faux innocent tone.</p>
<p>“Yes you,” Bernie says firmly. “Drive.”</p>
<p>Serena throws her a vague attempt at a salute, then starts the car and reverses down the drive while Bernie gets her seatbelt fastened.</p>
<p>“I was wondering what you want to do about Christmas,” Serena says as she heads towards the A30.</p>
<p>Bernie snorts. “I hadn’t given it a thought yet. But I am unsurprised that you’re thinking about it.”</p>
<p>Serena huffs a laugh. “It’s only four and a half weeks away, love.”</p>
<p>Bernie smiles. “What do you want to do about Christmas, then?”</p>
<p>“I thought we might invite everyone to come and stay with us. If you don’t think it’d be too much?”</p>
<p>“For how long?” asks Bernie.</p>
<p>“I thought we could invite people to arrive on the 23rd and then head back on the 27th. Or the 28th for Jason, Greta and Guin, since the trains will be madly busy on the 27th, with it being the first day the trains will be running after the Christmas shutdown.”</p>
<p>“You don’t want them to come for New Year’s as well?” Bernie asks gently.</p>
<p>Serena gives her a quick look, then returns her attention to the road. “I think I’d rather it was just us, if that’s okay?”</p>
<p>“Of course, love. As for Christmas, don’t feel you have to shorten the festivities on my account. Why don’t you invite Jason and his family to come for a whole week? Invite them to come from the 21st to the 28th, then invite Charlie, and Cam and Morven to come on the 22nd. That’ll give Jason and his family a chance to settle in before the others arrive. Or make it the 23rd, if you prefer, for my kids and Morven.”</p>
<p>“Giving Jason and his family a couple of days with us before the others arrive would probably suit him and Greta better.”</p>
<p>Bernie nods. “And rather than inflicting the train on them, I could drive up to Holby and collect them.”</p>
<p>“They’d certainly appreciate that,” Serena says. “Are you sure your back would be up to driving that far?”</p>
<p>“I can always have a rest stop halfway if it’s aching too much,” Bernie says. </p>
<p>“Alright, I’ll give him a ring and invite him. You know Jason, he’ll prefer as much advance notice as possible. </p>
<p>“Of course.”</p>
<p>They talk about their Christmas plans, discussing whether or not Charlie would want to bring someone with her. </p>
<p>“I don’t think she’s dating anyone, right now,” Bernie observes. “She talks more about her cat than she does about boyfriends or girlfriends.”</p>
<p>Serena chuckles. “Well, she’s got plenty of time to find someone special. Look how long it took us.”</p>
<p>“Mmm.” Bernie considers how she and Serena had broken up and inevitably finds her thoughts wandering back to that hospital explosion in Mogadishu: how she’d been knocked unconscious and been left buried under the rubble for hours while her colleagues frantically searched for survivors; how her pulse had been weak and thready when she’d finally been pulled free and no one had expected her to survive; how her spine had been damaged a second time, leaving her with shrapnel and a weakness in her back that she routinely curses when lifting heavy objects, standing for an hour or more, or driving long distances prove too much; how the nightmares are only just beginning to plague her less frequently.</p>
<p>“Bernie.” </p>
<p>She becomes aware that Serena’s giving her a concerned look and her left hand is squeezing her right knee. </p>
<p>“Sorry,” she mutters, dropping her hand to briefly squeeze Serena’s before she returns it to the steering wheel.</p>
<p>“Are you alright?” Serena asks.</p>
<p>“Yeah.” Bernie lifts her hand and roughly scrubs it over her face. “Sorry. I was thinking about Mogadishu again.”</p>
<p>“I’m sorry,” Serena says, and Bernie can’t help giving her a confused look. “I shouldn’t have made you talk about it earlier.”</p>
<p>“Well, first of all, you didn’t make me as I chose to tell you about it, and second of all, it was already on my mind before I talked to you about what happened, so it’s not your fault, okay?” Bernie reaches over and squeezes Serena’s forearm. “Don’t blame yourself for the vagaries of my brain.”</p>
<p>“Still, you might not still be dwelling on it now if I hadn’t asked you to tell me about what happened.”</p>
<p>“Serena.” Bernie says her with a soft sigh. “What did the therapist tell us about not blaming ourselves for each other’s choices?”</p>
<p>Serena glances sideways at her, her mouth compressing into a flat line, and Bernie reaches over to rest her hand on Serena’s leg, squeezing gently, trying to smile encouragingly at her lover. The brunette sighs. “She said not to do that. That it was worse than useless.”</p>
<p>Bernie hums her agreement, squeezing Serena’s leg a second time. “If I promise to try not dwell on Mogadishu, will you promise not to blame yourself for me thinking about it?”</p>
<p>Serena huffs a weak laugh. “Okay.” </p>
<p>“Good. Shall I put the radio on?”</p>
<p>“It’s not really worth it now as we’re nearly there.”</p>
<p>Bernie glances out of the windscreen and sees that Serena’s already approaching the Park and Ride car park from whence they can take a bus into the city centre, thus avoiding the more expensive car parking charge. “So we are. I guess I was lost in my thoughts for longer than I realised. For which I apologise.”</p>
<p>Serena drops her hand from the steering wheel to clasp Bernie’s hand, which is still resting on her thigh. “It’s fine.”</p>
<p>A few minutes later the car’s parked and they’re on the bus heading into the centre of Truro. </p>
<p>“Where are we heading?” Bernie asks as the bus nips through a gap in the traffic.</p>
<p>“Well, I was planning on making a start on buying Christmas presents,” Serena says. “I thought we could start with Guin since Jason’s already emailed me a list of age appropriate toys and books.”</p>
<p>Bernie chuckles. “He’s determined she’s going to be a genius,” she observes.</p>
<p>“He’s determined that she won’t want for anything if he can provide it for her,” Serena says.</p>
<p>“That too,” agrees Bernie. </p>
<p>She sighs softly, grateful for the second chance to have Jason and his family in her life. When she’d been in Mogadishu she’d done her best to keep in touch with the young man – after all, it was no fault of his that she and his Aunty Serena had split up. It had felt a little awkward at first, but Jason’s straightforward nature had made things easier than she’d feared they’d be. She knows that he had been as distressed as Serena or her children at the premature news that she’d been killed in the hospital explosion. She doesn’t think she’ll ever forgive Alex for that nasty piece of deception and manipulation. It had been weeks before Bernie had found out what Alex had done because she’d been suffering from temporary amnesia for some time after being pulled out of the rubble and those who’d rescued her hadn’t known who Bernie was. Which had given Alex precisely the opening she wanted to head back to Holby and tell Serena that Bernie was dead, and that she and Alex had been engaged at the time of Bernie’s supposed death. It was petty, spiteful, and cruel, and Bernie had been utterly furious when she found out. As had their CO, who had had Alex court-martialled, then discharged in disgrace. </p>
<p>“Love.” Serena’s low voice in her ear brings Bernie back out of her recollections and she sighs, annoyed that she let herself get lost in memories of the past. “We’re here.”</p>
<p>“Sorry,” Bernie says, full of remorse.</p>
<p>“It’s okay,” Serena says as they get to their feet and make their way off the bus into the street.</p>
<p>“It’s not,” Bernie says, feeling a flare of irritation that she knows is irrational. “I promised not to dwell, and I’ve already broken that promise.”</p>
<p>Serena tangles her fingers with Bernie’s, sliding their hands together and beginning to walk down the street. “Look, there’s obviously a reason why it’s on your mind so much today. So I don’t want you to worry about disappearing off into your own head anymore.” She momentarily tightens her grip on Bernie’s hand. “We both know the mind’s a strange thing. Something’s obviously going on in your unconscious that’s making you dwell on what happened, so please don’t apologise for what you cannot control.”</p>
<p>Serena draws her out of the pedestrian traffic and into her arms, pressing a lingering kiss to Bernie’s lips.</p>
<p>“What was that for?” she asks, feeling confused. Although they’re both happy to hold hands while they’re walking down the street, they still tend not to go in for public displays of affection very often.</p>
<p>“Nothing,” Serena says with a twinkle in her eyes. “I just wanted to kiss you.”</p>
<p>Bernie chuckles. “Okay.” She pecks Serena on the lips, simultaneously giving her a squeeze. “Thank you.” She heaves a huge sigh, then asks, “Where are we heading first?”</p>
<p>“Waterstones for board books for Guin and The Entertainer for toys. Luckily, they’re both in Boscawen Street.”</p>
<p>“I remember seeing Waterstones in passing when we’ve been here before.”</p>
<p>Serena nods. “The Entertainer’s a little further along the street.”</p>
<p>“Lay on, McDuff,” Bernie says, hoping she sounds enthusiastic. It’s not that she doesn’t want to help Serena with making a start on the Christmas shopping, it’s just that she worries that either her back or her left leg (which is held together with steel pins and plates in a couple of places) won’t hold up long enough to be useful.</p>
<p>~ ~ ~ ~ ~</p>
<p>By lunchtime Bernie is definitely drooping and Serena, who’s normally very good at spotting the signs of discomfort that she does her best to hide from her lover, is too intent on finding the last few items on her list to notice that Bernie’s grown quieter as the morning has progressed. <i>She probably thinks you’re just obsessing about Mogadishu again. Which serves you right</i>, she thinks, annoyed with herself. She knows she should probably say something, but she doesn’t want Serena to be forced to cut short their shopping trip.</p>
<p>They’re in Marks and Spencer when Bernie’s body betrays her iron determination not to let on that she’s in pain. She steps off the escalator a few paces behind Serena, who’s already forging ahead towards the exit, when she stumbles and, despite her best efforts, a cry of pain escapes her as her left leg gives way and she falls, the bags of shopping scattering around her.</p>
<p>“Shit, shit, shit,” she hisses through clenched teeth as she realises that she cannot pick herself up. Three people, including Serena, converge on her at once. </p>
<p>“Are you alright?” asks a young Black man, a Christmas jumper visible underneath his waxed jacket. “I mean, obviously you’re not, but d’you need an ambulance?”</p>
<p>“No,” Bernie says immediately, her tone fiercer than she intends because she’s rigid with not just pain but mortification as well.</p>
<p>“No ambulance, thanks,” Serena tells him in a friendly tone. “We’re both doctors, in fact.”</p>
<p>“Okay. Need a hand getting up?” he asks. “Daniel, by the way.”</p>
<p>“I’m Serena, and this is my partner, Bernie. And if you give me a hand helping her up, that’d be great, thanks.”</p>
<p>He nods, then helps Serena to carefully ease Bernie onto her back before taking most of her not very considerable weight as they lift her to her feet. Meanwhile, an older Chinese lady has gathered their bags and packages together, and she hands them over to Serena with murmurs of concern.</p>
<p>“I’ll be fine,” Bernie assures them all. It’s a bald faced lie and she’s sure Serena, at least, is aware of that fact, but Daniel and the Chinese lady accept her assurances and thanks, then make their way to the exit.</p>
<p>“How much pain are you in really?” asks Serena as soon as they’re both out of earshot.</p>
<p>Bernie bites her lip. “A lot,” she admits, knowing there’s no point in lying to Serena about it.</p>
<p>“Are you sure you don’t need to go to the ED?”</p>
<p>“Positive,” Bernie says. “I just need some painkillers.”</p>
<p>“And a long hot soak, a massage and a lie down, no doubt.”</p>
<p>“Yes,” Bernie admits sheepishly.</p>
<p>“Right. Let’s get back to the car, then, and get you home.”</p>
<p>Serena’s tone is short and sharp, and Bernie reaches to pick up some of the bags that are between them.</p>
<p>“What are you doing?” demands Serena.</p>
<p>Bernie swallows. “You can’t carry everything,” she says.</p>
<p>“And you shouldn’t be trying to carry anything after falling over. You’ve probably wrenched your back as well as your leg, haven’t you?”</p>
<p>Bernie nods miserably, trying to keep her shoulders from hunching since she knows that will hurt her back, too. She watches as Serena pulls out her mobile phone, then takes a few steps away from her as she makes a quick call.</p>
<p>“I’ve just called for a taxi to take us back to the Park and Ride,” she says when she moves back towards Bernie. The taxi driver will assist us with the bags. I don’t want you to try to help, okay?”</p>
<p>“Okay,” Bernie says in a small voice, feeling thoroughly embarrassed and humiliated by now. </p>
<p>They wait in silence for a few minutes, then a woman in her thirties approaches them. “Ms Campbell?”</p>
<p>“Yes,” Serena says.</p>
<p>“A2B Taxis,” says the woman, showing her the badge she has on a lanyard around her neck. “Two plus shopping to the Park and Ride, yeah?”</p>
<p>“That’s correct,” Serena says, giving the woman a warm smile as they gather up the bags of shopping. Neither of them speaks to Bernie and she feels like a naughty child as she follows in their wake, then climbs painfully into the back of the car. Serena sits up front with Nadia, who’s telling her about her thirteen year old niece, who wants to be a doctor when she grows up.</p>
<p>Bernie climbs awkwardly back out of the car once Nadia stops it behind Serena’s car. The two women quickly load the bags of shopping into Serena’s boot, and she watches as Serena hands over a business card along with the cash to pay for the trip, telling the young woman to pass on the card to her brother so he can arrange for Serena to talk to her niece. Nadia climbs back into her car after directing a bright smile at Serena, then drives off. Bernie gets into Serena’s car and pulls the seatbelt across, clicking it into place as she waits for Serena to get into the driver’s seat.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry,” Bernie whispers once Serena’s seated.</p>
<p>The brunette turns to look at her, one eyebrow raised. “What are you apologising for?” she asks, sounding baffled. She pulls out of the parking space and heads towards the exit.</p>
<p>“For messing up.”</p>
<p>Serena frowns. “You didn’t mess up,” she says firmly. “Your injured body let you down, that’s all. Although you should have told me your back was playing up.”</p>
<p>Her tone still has a sharpness to it that makes Bernie feel guilty and she bites her lip as she feels tears prickling her eyes. “I messed up,” she repeats, then clears her throat which feels clogged with unshed tears.</p>
<p>“Well, so did I,” Serena says. “I should’ve been paying more attention to you.”</p>
<p>“You shouldn’t have to waste time in mollycoddling me,” Bernie says.</p>
<p>Serena sighs. “Taking care of you is not mollycoddling you, Bernie. And it isn’t a waste of time to take care of you. You’re my partner and I love you, and I want to take care of you. But you do need to talk to me and tell me that you need help or a rest break if I’m not reading the signs. I freely admit, I was very focused on getting presents for Jason and his family, and not paying you as much attention as I know I should have done, knowing that you’d likely be suffering before the morning was out.”</p>
<p>She pauses at a traffic junction, waiting to join the A30, and reaches over to squeeze Bernie’s knee. “Let’s just agree that we both messed up today: you for not using words to tell me that you were hurting and me for not giving proper consideration to the state of your back and leg.”</p>
<p>“Okay,” Bernie says gruffly.</p>
<p>Serena squeezes Bernie’s knee again before releasing it and grabbing the steering wheel. “When we get home, we’ll get you into the bath and you can have a nice hot soak for a bit while the painkillers do their magic, then I’ll give you a massage and you can have a nap after that.”</p>
<p>“Thank you.”</p>
<p>The rest of the drive home passes in a blur for Bernie as the pain in her body intensifies owing to a lack of any form of intervention. She says nothing, biting her lip in an effort to hold back her tears, but some escape anyway. Fortunately, Serena doesn’t notice as she’s concentrating on driving them home as fast as is safely possible.</p>
<p>Getting out of the car at the end of their journey is a bit of a nightmare as Bernie’s body is screaming at her, her muscles tight and throbbing. Eventually, with Serena’s help, she manages it, and they head into Bernie’s cottage with Serena’s arm wrapped around Bernie in support. They head straight to the ensuite in their room and Serena eases her down onto the closed lid of the toilet while she starts running the bath. Then she fetches some of Bernie’s pain medication and grabs a glass of water, and Bernie swallows them down quickly. </p>
<p>Once the bath is full, Serena grabs the footstool and helps Bernie to step up onto it, then climb into the bathwater. She can’t help letting out a groan of relief as the hot water immediately begins to soothe her aching body.</p>
<p>“I’ll leave you to soak for a bit,” Serena tells her, “while I go and get the shopping in from the car. Think you could manage to eat something?”</p>
<p>“Some soup, I think,” Bernie says.</p>
<p>Serena nods. “Alright. I’ll heat up some of that thick vegetable soup for lunch once I’ve got the shopping inside.”</p>
<p>“Thank you.”</p>
<p>Serena leans over and kisses Bernie briefly on the mouth. “You’re welcome,” she says softly.</p>
<p>“I love you.”</p>
<p>“And I love you, too.” Serena kisses her again, then leaves Bernie to soak.</p>
<p>Once the bathroom door is closed and Bernie hears Serena heading downstairs, she allows herself to sob, her face buried in her hands as tears pour down her cheeks and into the bathwater. </p>
<p>By the time Serena returns carefully carrying a tray from which Bernie catches the scents of both soup and herbal tea, she’s feeling a bit better as the hot water and the Radox salts in it have somewhat eased her aching muscles and the painkillers have kicked in. </p>
<p>“Do you want to eat this while you’re sitting in the bath or in bed?”</p>
<p>“In bed, I think,” Bernie says.</p>
<p>“Alright.” Serena carries the tray back into their room, then returns and crosses to the bath; as soon as Bernie’s pulled out the plug, Serena helps her out of the bath, before beginning to rub her dry with an enormous bath sheet.</p>
<p>“How are you feeling now?”</p>
<p>“Somewhat more like a human being and less like a human pretzel,” Bernie says.</p>
<p>That elicits a snort of laughter as she wraps Bernie in her bathrobe, there being no sense in trying to get her into her pyjamas to eat her lunch only to have to get her back out of them again in order to give her the promised massage. “Good. Now, let’s get some food into you before I give you that massage.”</p>
<p>Bernie murmurs her assent and is soon ensconced in bed with a bowl of soup in one hand and a spoon in the other. She finds she’s hungrier than she realised, and the soup is soon gone, then she drinks the herbal tea which contains lemongrass and verbena among other things.</p>
<p>Once Serena finishes her soup and tea she goes to wash her hands, then comes back carrying the bottle of jasmine oil that she uses when she massages Bernie’s back and leg.</p>
<p>“Ready?” she asks and at Bernie’s nod, helps her to remove her bathrobe, then to lie on her stomach on the bed, a bath sheet spread beneath her in case drips of oil escape. (They have a duvet cover that, despite repeated washing, still carries a faint aroma of jasmine because the first time Serena did this they didn’t bother protecting it.)</p>
<p>By the time Serena finishes her massage Bernie is almost asleep, but she manages to put her pyjamas on with her lover’s help, then she stretches out on her stomach and Serena pulls the duvet over her before pressing a kiss to her temple.</p>
<p>“Sleep well, love.”</p>
<p>“Thanks,” Bernie manages to murmur. She’s asleep before Serena leaves the room.</p>
<p>SC-BW-SC-BW-SC</p>
<p>They make two further trips to Truro for Christmas shopping, but they schedule a break for coffee and cakes into the middle of the morning so that Bernie can rest her leg and her back. On their second trip they split up for a time in order to buy each other’s presents and Bernie finds her gift for Serena practically burning a hole in her pocket afterwards. She deliberately makes a point of asking for it to be wrapped for her while she’s in the shop rather than subject Serena to her own rather haphazard wrapping, which means she doesn’t have the chance to look at it again after she’s  purchased it, but she decides, once they’re home, that this might be as well since there’s no risk of Serena walking in on her and seeing the gift prematurely.</p>
<p>~ ~ ~ ~ ~ </p>
<p>December 21st rolls around and Serena is still sleeping when Bernie slips from the warmth of their bed and begins pulling on her clothes by the light of the torch on her phone. She’s fully dressed and turning around, intending to press a kiss to her lover’s temple, when Serena asks huskily, “What time is it?”</p>
<p>“Six o’clock.”</p>
<p>“Drive safely, love,” she murmurs, then opens her eyes and blearily peers up at Bernie as she leans down. “And make sure you don’t overdo it. Jason won’t thank you if you mess up your back and can’t drive them down here after all.”</p>
<p>“I promise,” Bernie says, and dips her head to lightly press her lips to Serena’s. “I’ll stop at the first motorway services on the M5 and I’ll text you then.”</p>
<p>“Okay. Love you.”</p>
<p>“Love you, too.” Bernie goes for a second kiss, then slips out of the bedroom, quite certain that Serena will soon go back to sleep again. </p>
<p>The drive to Holby goes relatively easily as the traffic is fairly light at such an early hour, and even with two breaks for coffee in order to give her back and leg a rest, she’s pulling up outside Serena’s old house, which she’d decided to gift to Jason and Greta once she agreed to move to St Ives with Bernie, by 10.30am.</p>
<p>“Hello Aunty Bernie!” Jason’s greeting sounds as enthusiastic as ever and she grins as widely as he does at the sight of him.</p>
<p>“Hello Jason. How are you all?”</p>
<p>“We’re very well, thank you. Guinevere is asleep at the moment.”</p>
<p>“Okay. Are you ready to go?” She can see their cases are already lined up neatly in the hall.</p>
<p>“Don’t you want some coffee?” Greta asks, coming out of the sitting room.</p>
<p>“Aunty Serena did say that you should give your back and leg a rest once you got here,” observes Jason.</p>
<p>“Very well,” Bernie says with a soft laugh. “Might I use the bathroom first?”</p>
<p>“Of course,” says Greta immediately.</p>
<p>Bernie holds out the car keys to Jason. “Why don’t you put your cases in the car while I go to the bathroom?”</p>
<p>“That is an efficient use of time, I believe,” Jason says, sounding pleased at the idea.</p>
<p>“That’s what I thought.”</p>
<p>Bernie disappears into the ground floor bathroom and when she steps back into the hallway, Jason is just disappearing through the front door with the last of their luggage.</p>
<p>“Come and have some coffee, Bernie,” Greta says.</p>
<p>She follows the young woman into the once familiar kitchen and takes a seat at the table while Greta makes them both a mug of coffee and a mug of tea for Jason. </p>
<p>“I assume that you didn’t run into any traffic incidents since you got here roughly when you predicted that you would?”</p>
<p>“No, I didn’t,” Bernie agrees. “Which, of course, was the reason I set out so early. There’s a stronger possibility of running into trouble on the way back, of course, because the road will be that much busier now. I am hoping, however, that as it’s still four days until Christmas there won’t be too many people making as early a get away as you are.”</p>
<p>“I understand.” Greta sets down a mug of coffee in front of her.</p>
<p>“Thanks.” Bernie blows on the hot liquid, then takes a sip and sighs in satisfaction. </p>
<p>“I’ve finished loading the car, Aunty Bernie,” Jason says, coming in and hurrying to wash his hands before he sits down to drink his tea.</p>
<p>“Jason, you can just call me Bernie, you know. I don’t mind.”</p>
<p>“Are you sure?” he asks, sounding anxious. “Isn’t it disrespectful not to call you Aunty?”</p>
<p>“Not really,” Bernie says. “Technically, I’m not your aunty since I’m not related to you by blood, and Serena and I aren’t married either. It’s fine if you do want to call me Aunty. But I won’t mind if you just call me Bernie.”</p>
<p>“I need to think about this,” Jason says.</p>
<p>“Okay.”</p>
<p>They chat about Guin as they finish their drinks, then they’re ready to set out, Greta sitting in the back of Serena’s car with Guin fast asleep in the baby car seat beside her, and Jason in the passenger seat.</p>
<p>“Want to text Serena and let her know we’re on our way?” Bernie suggests as she pulls out of the drive.</p>
<p>“That’s a good idea,” agrees Jason. “What time are we expecting to reach your cottage?”</p>
<p>“Well, that depends on the traffic, how long a break I need to take on the way back, and whether or not you want to stop and have lunch somewhere.”</p>
<p>“I made lunch for everyone,” Greta says immediately.</p>
<p>“Okay. I wouldn’t expect to be back in St Ives until about half past two. Assuming we don’t hit any traffic problems.”</p>
<p>“I’ll let Aunty Serena know,” Jason says, his fingers flying over his phone.</p>
<p>“Okay.”</p>
<p>A few minutes later Jason’s phone pings and he says, “Aunty Serena says she’s glad that you arrived safely Bernie and wants to know how your back and leg are holding up.”</p>
<p>“Please tell her that they’re holding up just fine,” Bernie says. “Thank you.”</p>
<p>They talk about what they’ve been doing since they last saw one another in September, with Bernie explaining that she’d accepted an invitation to give a paper on trauma techniques at a conference in Cambridge, to which she and Serena had gone in mid-October.</p>
<p>“That seems like an awfully short time frame to prepare,” Jason says. “Assuming you didn’t already know about it in September?”</p>
<p>“No, I didn’t. And yes, Jason, it was a fairly short time frame – just a month. But one of their original speakers had to drop out as she was killed by an IED.”</p>
<p>Greta gasps and when Bernie glances back at her in the driver’s mirror she sees the young woman has a hand over her mouth.</p>
<p>“Did you know her?” Jason asks.</p>
<p>Bernie nods, her mouth in a grim line. “I trained her. She was one of the last of the cohort of trainees I had before I was blown up that first time.”</p>
<p>“That must have made you sad,” Jason observes.</p>
<p>“Sad, mad, and guilty,” Bernie tells him.</p>
<p>“Why guilty?” asks Greta.</p>
<p>“Because I survived getting blown up not once but twice. And Jemima wasn’t so lucky. Plus, she was about half my age and still had a lot of years of service left to give. At least if I hadn’t survived that explosion in Mogadishu, I’d have died with a long career behind me.”</p>
<p>“Did you like Cambridge?” Jason asks after a brief silence.</p>
<p>Bernie, grateful for the change of subject, chuckles and says she did, but she thought Serena had found it ‘dull and flat’. </p>
<p>Greta asks about some of the places Bernie has visited and that conversation lasts them until Taunton, where she pulls off into the motorway services to give her back and leg a rest.</p>
<p>“Why does your back hurt so much, Aunty Bernie?” Jason asks as they make their way back to car after their rest stop.</p>
<p>“Didn’t Serena tell you?” Bernie asks, surprised at the thought that she might not have done.</p>
<p>He shakes his head, his expression solemn.</p>
<p>“Oh. Well when the bomb exploded at the hospital it left some metal fragments lodged far too near my spine. The surgeons decided not to take them out as there was a very good chance I’d end up being paralysed.”</p>
<p>“You have metal plates in your leg, don’t you?” Jason asks.</p>
<p>“Yes, in two places. Those are titanium so they won’t set off the metal detector at the airport if I have to fly overseas.”</p>
<p>“What about the metal fragments in your spine?” asks Greta.</p>
<p>Bernie huffs a laugh. “Oh, that will definitely set off a metal detector. I have a letter from my former CO, however, that I could show to the airport security people so they’d know that it genuinely is metal fragments in my back and not some sort of device to blow up planes.”</p>
<p>They stop for lunch in Exeter after Jason looks up parks on his phone and finds one where they can eat the lunch Greta has made for them. Bernie can’t help feeling grateful that it’s a sunny day, even if it isn’t very warm. They don’t stay long as it’s too chilly to sit around for long and the cold tends to play havoc with Bernie’s damaged body, not to mention that Jason and Greta are concerned about baby Guin catching a cold.</p>
<p>They enliven the drive from Exeter to Bodmin, where they briefly stop again for Bernie to stretch her back and walk about for a few minutes, with a discussion of places they would perhaps like to go for Christmas if money was no object. Bernie confesses to a preference for somewhere warmer than England, while Jason surprises her by expressing a desire to go to Germany to see the Christmas markets.</p>
<p>“I’d also like to visit Salzburg for Krampusnacht,” Jason says.</p>
<p>“Really?” Bernie asks. “I wouldn’t have thought that would appeal to you, particularly.”</p>
<p>“Why not?”</p>
<p>“Isn’t the Krampus supposed to be a horned demon? All hairy and scary.”</p>
<p>Jason laughs. “He might be scary for children, but I don’t think he would scare me.”</p>
<p>“I see. What about you, Greta?”</p>
<p>“I think I would prefer to avoid the Krampus,” she says. “But I would like to visit the German markets.”</p>
<p>“Where would Aunty Serena like to spend Christmas?” asks Jason.</p>
<p>“Either in the south of France at a vineyard or somewhere warm, like me.”</p>
<p>It’s a little after half past two when Bernie finally pulls onto the gravel in front of Heather Cottage, which has been in the Wolfe family, passed down the matrilineal line, for over a century. </p>
<p>Serena’s already at the front door as Bernie stops the car and unfastens her seatbelt, and she watches as her lover greets Jason and Greta, then peeks in at Guin, who is sleeping again. She tells Greta to go straight inside and directs her to the bedroom on the right facing the sea. Then she helps Jason to carry the luggage inside as far as the hallway, leaving him to carry the cases upstairs in Greta’s wake. Bernie’s got the driver’s door open but hasn’t yet attempted to climb out of the car because, despite the rest stops, she is aching more than a little after driving nearly four hundred miles in one day.</p>
<p>“C’mon, love, out you come,” Serena says and helps Bernie to swing her legs around so that she can actually stand up and step away from the car. “When did you last take some painkillers?”</p>
<p>“A couple of hours ago,” Bernie says. “So too soon for anymore.”</p>
<p>Serena nods. “Let’s go inside.”</p>
<p>Bernie lets Serena usher her into the cottage, then up the stairs to their room. </p>
<p>“Sit on the bed for a moment,” she says, “while I go and have a word with Jason and Greta.”</p>
<p>“Okay.” Bernie sits carefully on the side of the bed and waits for Serena to speak to their guests.</p>
<p>Once Serena returns she helps her to get undressed, then lets Bernie lean on her as she walks into the ensuite. </p>
<p>“Bath or shower?”</p>
<p>“Shower,” Bernie says. “I fear if I get in the bath I might not be able to get out. And if I’m going to fall asleep soon, which seems likely, I’d rather have got into bed first.”</p>
<p>“Okay. Want me to help you?”</p>
<p>“If you could wash my back?” Bernie asks.</p>
<p>“Of course. I’ve told Jason and Greta to make themselves at home, and they’re both fully aware of the situation with your back and leg, so they know you need my assistance.”</p>
<p>“You hadn’t told Jason I’ve got metal shrapnel in my back,” Bernie observes before stepping under the shower and turning it on. She picks up her shower gel and begins lathering it up as Serena quickly strips out of her own clothes, then joins her.</p>
<p>“Hadn’t I?” </p>
<p>“Not according to Jason.”</p>
<p>“Oh.” Bernie can hear the frown in Serena’s voice, although she cannot see her face. “I thought I had.”</p>
<p>“No matter,” Bernie tells her.</p>
<p>A little while later Serena helps Bernie to lie on the bed, then gets herself dressed before she performs her usual magical massage on Bernie’s back and leg. Afterwards she helps Bernie to get into her pyjamas so that she can have a nap.</p>
<p>“Do you want anything to eat or something to drink?”</p>
<p>“No, thank you.”</p>
<p>“Okay. I’ll let you get some rest. Text me if you need anything.”</p>
<p>“Thank you.” Bernie purses her lips and Serena chuckles, then leans down and lets Bernie kiss her languorously. “Love you,” she whispers once she releases Serena’s mouth.</p>
<p>“Love you, too,” Serena says, nuzzling their noses together. “Now get some rest, soldier.”</p>
<p>“Yes ma’am.”</p>
<p>Serena drops a kiss to her temple, then moves away, gathering up Bernie’s discarded clothes, dropping things into the laundry hamper or hanging them up as required. Bernie falls asleep before Serena’s finished.</p>
<p>~ ~ ~ ~ ~</p>
<p>They spend the next couple of days in the cottage as the weather takes a turn for the worse with temperatures dropping and rain lashing the windows. Guin toddles energetically around the cottage, being doted on by her great aunty Serena, and the four adults play board games and card games, eat too many mince pies and chocolates, and watch movies. </p>
<p>Bernie finds herself suffering from severe muscle cramps, which Serena does her best to alleviate with massages before Bernie sleeps and before she gets up, and with repeatedly replenished hot water bottles that Bernie positions behind her back whenever she’s sitting down.</p>
<p>“Is it my fault your back is hurting?” asks Jason worriedly on their first evening together when Guin is fast asleep in her cot upstairs and they’re gathered together in the sitting room to watch <i>Scrooged</i>. Serena’s just handed her a hot water bottle.</p>
<p>Bernie frowns at him. “Why would it be your fault?” </p>
<p>“Because you drove to Holby to get us.”</p>
<p>“No, it’s not that,” Bernie says quickly, making her tone as reassuring as possible. “It’s because of the metal fragments in my back – the cold and wet weather affects them and that affects my back. Even if I hadn’t driven up to fetch you today, I’d still be suffering.”</p>
<p>“It’s quite true, Jason,” Serena says. “Bernie could hardly move at all for two days in late November when we had that bad storm, and she hadn’t driven anywhere at all in the forty eight hours before that.”</p>
<p>“Please don’t blame yourself,” Bernie says earnestly. “You’re not responsible. I promise you that.”</p>
<p>“Okay, Aunty Bernie.”</p>
<p>“Good.”</p>
<p>They settle down to watch the movie and Bernie isn’t surprised to find that she falls asleep. She’d settled on the sofa with her back against the arm, with two cushions and a hot water bottle for support, and her toes tucked under Serena’s thigh as she sits in more conventional fashion at the other end of the sofa. When she wakes up there’s a heavy woollen blanket draped over her and Serena’s knitting, while Jason and Greta are nowhere in sight.</p>
<p>“Time is it?” asks Bernie, voice husky from sleep.</p>
<p>“A little after ten thirty,” Serena says, immediately putting her knitting aside.</p>
<p>“You should have woken me,” Bernie tells her.</p>
<p>“I was quite happy to sit with you and do my knitting,” Serena assures her. She gets up, then moves down the length of the sofa to lean in and press a kiss to Bernie’s lips. “How’s your back?”</p>
<p>“Hating the English winter with every muscle and nerve,” she says, then murmurs a little discontentedly when Serena removes the blanket. “I was warm in that.”</p>
<p>Serena huffs a laugh. “Alright, you can have it back, but let’s get you on your feet first, eh?” </p>
<p>“Okay.” </p>
<p>Between the two of them, they manage to get Bernie upright and Serena drapes the blanket around her shoulders like a cape, then carries the hot water bottle into the kitchen. Bernie shuffles from the sitting room, turning off the lights as she goes, and joins Serena in the kitchen where she’s just boiling the kettle in order to renew Bernie’s hot water bottle and fill up a second one. Then Serena helps her upstairs to bed and tucks her in with the two hot water bottles at her back. </p>
<p>“You’ve got another kettle in here?” Bernie asks sleepily, noticing it as Serena changes into her own fluffy, brushed cotton pyjamas.</p>
<p>“It saves having to go back downstairs to refill your hot water bottles if you wake up in the night and they’re cold,” Serena explains. </p>
<p>“You could bring the kettle up here from the kitchen.”</p>
<p>“And ordinarily I would have done so, but since we’ll have a house full over the next week, I thought it better to get a spare kettle instead. Just in case anyone else wants early morning cups of tea or coffee.”</p>
<p>“Fair point,” Bernie concedes.</p>
<p>Serena slides into bed beside her and they spend a few minutes kissing and cuddling before settling down to sleep.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. ... courage for the present, hope for the future.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Christmas arrives and with it the combined Dunn and Haynes family members. Plus an unexpected addition.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>On Christmas Eve Charlotte, Cam and Morven arrive together, Morven sharing the driving with Cameron and bringing Charlotte, too. Like Bernie had when she’d made the journey to Holby to collect Jason and his family, they’d set out nice and early so that they arrive at Heather Cottage by mid-morning. </p><p>Bernie greets her children with hugs, and Morven too, which causes her to blush and stammer a greeting. </p><p>“It’s really good to see you again, Ms Wolfe,” she says, smiling earnestly.</p><p>“Please, Morven, call me Bernie. We’re no longer working together, and it would be silly for you to address me so formally when you’re part of the family now.”</p><p>“How are you, Bernie?” she asks, still blushing a little.</p><p>“Feeling somewhat better now that pesky colder, wetter weather front has moved on.”</p><p>“War wounds playing you up, Madre?” Cam asks as he carries his and Morven’s cases in from the car.</p><p>“A little,” Bernie agrees, automatically downplaying the severity of the pain she’s been in for the sake of not worrying her children.</p><p>“It was a lot of pain actually,” Jason says, pausing in the hallway on his way from the kitchen to the sitting room, cups of tea in hand. “Aunty Serena had to help Aunty Bernie up and down the stairs every day.”</p><p>Bernie bites her lip as three pairs of eyes snap to her, Charlotte having entered the cottage as well by this point. “Okay, I lied,” she says with a sigh.</p><p>“Why?” asks Charlie.</p><p>“Because I didn’t want you to worry,” Bernie says immediately. “There’s literally nothing anyone can do to improve the situation, so there’s no point in wasting your time or energy in worrying about it.”</p><p>“Oh mum,” sighs Charlie, stepping forward to wrap her arms around Bernie in a tight hug. “Even if we can’t do anything to help you, we’d still rather you told us the truth.”</p><p>“Fine,” Bernie says, knowing there’s no point in arguing about it. </p><p>“Does anyone want a snack with their coffee?” asks Serena from the kitchen doorway.</p><p>“Well,” Cam begins, “breakfast was a long time ago and it won’t be lunchtime for a while yet, will it?”</p><p>Bernie chuckles. “That’s a yes from my son, at least,” she tells Serena, who also chuckles.</p><p>“Charlie? Morven?”</p><p>The two young women agree that they would like a snack too, so Serena suggests that Bernie makes them all a cup of coffee and warms up some mince pies, while she takes the young people upstairs to show them to their rooms and let them freshen up.</p><p>When the four of them return, Bernie is just setting the last of the mugs of coffee on a tray, then she pulls open the oven door and takes out the warmed mince pies and puts them on one of Serena’s Christmas plates. Cam volunteers to carry the tray of coffees into the sitting room, and Morven carries the plate of mince pies while Serena gets out the napkins.</p><p>“Did you make the mince pies, Serena?” Charlie asks as she and Serena head towards the sitting room, with Bernie close behind.</p><p>“No, your mum made them. Using what she insisted was the Wolfe secret recipe.”</p><p>“Ooh,” say Charlie and Cam together.</p><p>“You haven’t made those for a few years, Madre,” Cam observes.</p><p>“No, I haven’t. I thought it was time, though.”</p><p>They join Jason and Greta in the sitting room, Guin toddling towards them at high speed.</p><p>“Up, Bunny!” she exclaims excitedly.</p><p>“Bunny?” asks Morven, looking confused.</p><p>“Me,” Bernie admits, crouching down to Guin’s level. “She cannot manage to say Bernie yet, but has managed to master Bunny.”</p><p>Cam chuckles. “Can I call you Bunny, too?”</p><p>“You’re not too big for a spanked bottom, young man,” Bernie says, glancing up through her fringe at him with her sternest look. He looks startled and raises both hands in a gesture of submission. </p><p>“Okay, okay.”</p><p>“Come on then, little one,” Bernie says and gathers Guin into her arms, before straightening carefully, Serena’s hand on the small of her back, and five pairs of eyes watching her anxiously. She scowls briefly. “I assure you, I wouldn’t try picking her up if I couldn’t safely do so. I’m not going to risk hurting my great niece, I promise you.”</p><p>They all look suitably abashed and Serena suggests that everyone sits down to enjoy their coffee and mince pies before it all goes cold. Cam and Morven opt to sit on the beanbag chairs that Serena had bought the previous week in order to supplement their sitting room furniture. Jason and Greta are already seated in the armchairs which they’ve been using since their arrival a few days ago, and Charlie settles on Bernie’s left while Serena sits on her right on the three seater sofa. The mugs of coffee are handed around, and everyone is provided with a mince pie and a napkin. </p><p>They sit in a comfortable silence, aside from the Christmas music that’s on low in the background courtesy of the playlist that Jason set up on Serena’s phone. Then, once the mince pies are eaten, they begin catching up on each other’s news. </p><p>Bernie’s content to sit with Guin in her lap, the warmth of Serena on one side of her and Charlie on the other. Eventually, though, Guin wishes to play again, so Serena lifts her down onto the floor and she makes a beeline for the playmat that’s spread out on the other side of the room. Morven and Charlie soon join her, sitting to either side of her, and Bernie cannot help revelling in the quiet domesticity of the scene. She is vaguely reminded of that Christmas she and Serena had shared with their children (and Jason definitely counts as one of Serena’s children, for all that he’s her nephew not her son) before Elinor’s tragic death, but this Christmas doesn’t seem sad to Bernie, for all that Elinor’s missing.</p><p>Eventually Serena gets up to make lunch and Morven and Greta volunteer to assist her, to which she assents, and Bernie’s a little surprised when Cam comes to join her on the sofa.</p><p>“You and Serena seem really happy,” he observes quietly because Jason’s begun reading to Guin.</p><p>“We are,” Bernie assures him.</p><p>“I did worry when you said the two of you were getting back together again. Especially given that Alex had said you and she were engaged.”</p><p>“Well that was a lie,” Bernie says. “As I told you after I finally got home and heard about it. I’ve never had the least interest in marrying Alex, not even when we first got together.”</p><p>“Well, you were still married to dad then,” Cam says.</p><p>“Yes, but I never once fantasised about divorcing your dad and then marrying Alex. Even when we were in our happy bubble, there was a small part of me that somehow knew it couldn’t and wouldn’t last. Probably because I was all too aware of the difference in our ranks or maybe because of the age difference. Or both.” She shrugs. “I don’t know what it was, exactly, but I knew the two of us weren’t an option, long term.”</p><p>“What happened between you and Serena, when you split up on Jason’s wedding day,” Cam begins after a moment.</p><p>“What about it?” Bernie asks.</p><p>“I never understood why you didn’t fight for Serena, why you walked away and went back to Nairobi even though you’d burned your bridges there. I’d have thought, having burned those bridges, you’d have been more determined to stay together.”</p><p>“I might have done,” Bernie says, “if we hadn’t already nearly split up when I came home that weekend that Guinevere was born.” She swallows the last of her lukewarm coffee, grimacing a little. “Being thrown over by the same person twice in the space of only a few months seemed like too large a hint to ignore. Serena had convinced herself that I could never be happy here with her and that’s not something you can just make someone accept. There were other circumstances too, which I don’t intend to discuss with you.”</p><p>She shifts, trying to ease her back. “I never stopped wanting to be with Serena, though. Alex and I had a fight about it because she thought that she and I would get together again once she turned up in Mogadishu. I’ve wondered, since then, if that’s why she came rushing back here while I was out of action, claiming to have been engaged to me at the time I’d supposedly died. Perhaps she wouldn’t have been so malicious if I had let her down more gently.”</p><p>“Doesn’t seem very likely,” Cam observes. “Your back playing you up again?”</p><p>Bernie nods. “Must be a change in the weather coming again,” she says with a sigh.</p><p>“Where’s your hot water bottle?” he asks.</p><p>Bernie pulls it out from between her thigh and the arm of the sofa, where she’d shoved it since it wasn’t needed.</p><p>“I’ll go and fill it up for you.”</p><p>“Thanks, love.”</p><p>He smiles, gets to his feet, then turns back to her and presses his lips to her forehead. “I love you and I’m so glad that you didn’t die.”</p><p>Bernie gives him a somewhat shaky smile, surprised by his words and his gesture. “I love you, too, Cam, and I’m even gladder that I didn’t die.”</p><p>He chuckles at that, then goes to the kitchen. Bernie closes her eyes and leans back, wishing that British winters hadn’t started to grow colder and wetter.</p><p>“Here you go,” Cam says and eases the hot water bottle in its knitted cover (knitted by Serena in ‘trauma bay blue’ as she calls that particular shade of blue) behind her back. “Serena says lunch will be ready in fifteen minutes.”</p><p>“Thanks, love.”</p><p>They talk about his work until lunch is ready, then everyone moves into the dining room, Jason settling Guin into her highchair and Serena settling Bernie beside her with her hot water bottle between her back and the upholstered back of her chair.</p><p>“Is it true that this house has been in the Wolfe family for centuries Ms – I mean Bernie?” Morven asks as they begin to eat.</p><p>“Only a little over one century,” Bernie tells her with a smile. “It’s been passed down the matrilineal line since the nineteenth century. It was bought by Dorothea Wolfe in 1886 and following the death of her husband was passed to her daughter on Dorothea’s death. She was the first of the Wolfe women to retain her maiden name upon her marriage, much to her husband’s chagrin. It’s been the tradition ever since.”</p><p>“Why are your children named Dunn not Wolfe?” asks Greta.</p><p>“That was Marcus’ doing,” Bernie says with an apologetic glance at Cam and Charlie. “He insisted on it since I refused to change my name to his when we got married.”</p><p>“Does that mean that Charlotte will be the first woman not named Wolfe to inherit Heather Cottage?” Jason asks.</p><p>“No,” Charlie says firmly. “I’ll change my name legally to Charlotte Wolfe before I inherit it.”</p><p>“You don’t have to do that,” Bernie says immediately, although she’s deeply touched by her daughter’s declaration.</p><p>“I know I don’t have to. But I want to.”</p><p>“What about if you get married before then?” Morven asks.</p><p>“I’ll keep the name Dunn if I get married. Although I don’t expect to get married any time soon.” Charlie’s tone is very matter-of-fact, Bernie notices.</p><p>“Don’t you like boys?” asks Jason.</p><p>Charlies chuckles. “I don’t have to like boys in order to get married, Jason. Women can marry women if they choose. I have no strong feelings either way about men, but I do know that I’m not interested in getting married yet.”</p><p>“You would need to be in a relationship to contemplate marriage,” Cam says. “How long’s it been?”</p><p>“You don’t have to answer that, Charlie,” Bernie interjects hastily, glaring at Cam, who raises his hands in submission, as he had done earlier.</p><p>“It’s been three years since I was in a relationship. I’m far more interested in finishing my Law degree and moving onto the SQE next September,” she says.</p><p>“What’s the SQE?” chimes Greta, Jason, and Morven.</p><p>Charlie chuckles. “Sorry, it’s the Solicitor Qualifying Exam. It’s replacing the former qualification as of next September.”</p><p>“What made you decide to study Law?” asks Greta.</p><p>“I want to help people,” Charlie says. “I did a summer job in a legal office when I was 16 and it made me realise what I wanted to do.”</p><p>Once lunch is out of the way, they move back into the sitting room to begin the process of decorating the Christmas tree, and the rest of the house. The tree had been delivered late the previous afternoon, but Serena had insisted that they wouldn’t decorate it until everyone was there. </p><p>Bernie, with Greta’s help, keeps everyone supplied with drinks and snacks throughout the afternoon, although they both add some tinsel and decorations to the tree at Serena’s insistence. Jason puts a wreath on the front door while Cam hangs strings of lights in the windows of the dining room and sitting room. Tinsel and paperchains and mistletoe are put up everywhere downstairs, although Bernie notes that the mistletoe is somewhat superfluous since everyone except Charlie is there with their partner. Serena waves her off, however, before adding holly and pinecones to the mantlepiece above the fire, which has been lit. Although the cottage had been modernised in the latter half of the twentieth century it still boasts a fireplace in both the sitting room and dining room and all of the bedrooms; they don’t normally use the fireplaces since the central heating is more than adequate to their needs. However, because it’s Christmas, they have lit a fire in the sitting room at Serena’s insistence.</p><p>By the time they go to bed it’s begun to snow, and Bernie is very happy to be tucked up in bed with Serena and two hot water bottles, and the fire that’s been lit in their bedroom providing extra warmth.</p><p>“Alright?” Serena asks softly, nuzzling their noses together.</p><p>“Mmhmm,” Bernie agrees sleepily, happy to be snuggled and nuzzled by her lover. “Are you sure you want to have the fire lit? Won’t it give you a hot flush?”</p><p>“It might,” Serena agrees, “but if it does, I’ll just take off my pyjamas.”</p><p>“Ding dong,” Bernie says with a comic leer, which has the desired effect: Serena’s forced to clap a hand over her mouth to stifle her laughter, so she doesn’t disturb the others.</p><p>“Ridiculous woman,” she says once she’s calmed down.</p><p>Bernie just grins sleepily at her and pulls her in closer. “I do love you, you know.”</p><p>“I know. And I love you, too.”</p><p>They exchange languid kisses for a few minutes, then Bernie stifles a yawn with a murmured apology.</p><p>“To be continued,” Serena whispers.</p><p>“Okay.” Bernie yawns again, then tucks Serena’s head under her chin and feels herself sinking into sleep.</p><p>SC-BW-SC-BW-SC</p><p>Christmas Day doesn’t dawn too early because Guin is just that little bit too young to be climbing out of bed and waking everyone for present opening at a ridiculously early hour. Bernie, in fact, is awake ridiculously early because the colder ambient temperature has affected her back and she jolts awake when a particularly sharp spasm of pain rips down her spine. She stifles a yelp, but her movements awaken Serena despite her best efforts.</p><p>Despite being more asleep than awake, Serena immediately diagnoses the problem, and she flicks on the kettle, already filled in anticipation, and replenishes Bernie’s hot water bottles. Then she lays a new fire and lights it, before helping Bernie to sit up sufficiently far enough to be able to swallow down some painkillers. Then she climbs back into bed and draws Bernie into her arms, slowly massaging her back to ease the spasms.</p><p>“It’s okay, love, I’ve got you,” she murmurs in Bernie’s ear. “I’ve got you.”</p><p>Bernie does her best not to sob too loudly as the warmth of the hot water bottles, the fire, and Serena’s own body heat seep into her muscles, which Serena’s doing her best to unknot, until eventually she’s limp and relaxed.</p><p>“Okay?” Serena asks, pressing her lips to Bernie’s brow.</p><p>“Better,” she agrees. “Sorry.”</p><p>“Don’t be silly, love. If anything, this situation is my fault, not yours.”</p><p>“Huh? How’d you work that one out?” Bernie asks muzzily.</p><p>“Well, if we hadn’t split up on Jason’s wedding day, you’d never have ended up in Mogadishu. And if you hadn’t gone there, you wouldn’t now be suffering agonies every time the weather turns wet or cold.”</p><p>“Serena, you cannot blame yourself for a terrorist atrocity.”</p><p>“No, but –” she begins, but Bernie cuts her off. </p><p>“No, love. No buts, no ifs, no maybes. This is not your fault. After all, I’m the one who chose to sign up again with the RAMC. I didn’t have to do that. I could’ve stayed in the UK. No more playing the blame game, okay?” Bernie kisses her softly. “Remember what Carolyn, our therapist said?”</p><p>“That’s it arrogant to take the blame for things outside of our personal control.”</p><p>“Exactly,” Bernie says with another soft kiss. “Allow me to wish you a Merry Christmas, Serena Wendy Campbell, then give me a cuddle and let’s go back to sleep again while we still can.”</p><p>“Okay.” Serena gives her the softest of smiles and Bernie feels her heart clench. “Merry Christmas Berenice Griselda Wolfe.”</p><p>Serena winds her arms more tightly around Bernie and she dozes back off again, secure in her lover’s arms and the warm bed.</p><p>~ ~ ~ ~ ~</p><p>When Bernie wakes the second time it’s because she has to go to the bathroom. She stifles a groan as she pulls herself from the bed and drags on her bathrobe over her pyjamas, then shoves her feet into her slippers and hobbles into the ensuite.</p><p>She cleans her teeth after she’s washed her hands and face and is just finishing up when Serena joins her.</p><p>“Morning again,” Bernie says softly.</p><p>“Morning.” Serena’s voice sounds scratchy with sleep, she notices, and she gives her a quick, closed mouth peck on the lips before leaving her lover sole possession of the bathroom. She puts the kettle on to make a pot of coffee and peeks through the curtains at the snow-blanketed landscape while she waits. Serena comes back out of the bathroom and wraps her arms around Bernie while she’s looking out of the window. Bernie smiles as she feels Serena pressing her cheek against her back.</p><p>“How’s your back?” she asks. “And your leg?”</p><p>“Complaining a bit,” Bernie admits. “But it’s too early for any more painkillers.”</p><p>“Hence the coffee?”</p><p>“Hence the coffee,” Bernie agrees. </p><p>“Why don’t you hop back into bed and I’ll make it?” Serena suggests. “And maybe we can open our presents to each other?”</p><p>Bernie swallows, thinking of that gift she’d bought and had wrapped in the shop a few weeks ago. “Okay.”</p><p>They settle back into bed side by side, each with a mug of coffee and each with a gift in their lap.</p><p>“Shall I go first?” Bernie asks, not quite ready for Serena to open her gift at this moment.</p><p>“Or we could go together?” Serena says, twinkling at her.</p><p>“Oh, um, I’d rather take it in turns so I can watch,” Bernie says.</p><p>“Alright, then.” </p><p>Bernie leans over and presses a brief, chaste kiss to Serena’s lips, nuzzles their noses together, then carefully unwraps her gift. It’s about the size of a shoebox, but it’s not heavy enough to be holding shoes. Once Bernie gets the paper off and lifts the lid of the box she finds a folded black belt that unfolds to reveal a USB cable and a USB power bank such as one can purchase to recharge a mobile phone on the go. </p><p>“It’s an infrared heating belt,” Serena says. “I thought it’d be easier than dragging hot water bottles about. You can wear it over your clothes or under them if you prefer, and it can easily be recharged from the power bank to make it properly portable.”</p><p>“It’s amazing, Serena,” Bernie breathes, thrilled. “Thank you.”</p><p>“You’re welcome.” </p><p>They kiss for a bit, before Serena helps Bernie to put the belt on over her pyjama top. </p><p>“It’s already fully charged, as is the power bank,” Serena says.</p><p>“I must admit, it’ll be nice not to have to drag heavy hot water bottles around with me.”</p><p>“That’s what I thought,” Serena agrees. </p><p>Once Bernie’s settled again, the belt gently warming her back, Serena turns her attention to her own gift and Bernie tries not to fidget as her lover carefully unwraps the box, which has a second, smaller, rather more familiar, sort of box inside. She finds herself holding her breath as Serena gives her a quizzical look, then slowly opens the jeweller’s box.</p><p>Inside, nestled in foam, lies a white gold ring with a sapphire-encrusted infinity symbol at the front.</p><p>“Is this –” begins Serena, sounding doubtful.</p><p>“It’s a promise ring,” Bernie tells her. “I once promised to wait for you for eternity. I thought waiting ‘to infinity’ amounted to the same thing.”</p><p>“Oh Bernie!” Serena grabs her and hugs her tightly, then presses kisses to her face in a sort of frenzy. “Thank you, love. It’s gorgeous.”</p><p>“I’m glad that you like it,” Bernie says, feeling very relieved.</p><p>“I love it,” she says with a firm emphasis. </p><p>Bernie lifts the ring from the foam inside the box, then holds it out. “Which finger do you want to wear it on?”</p><p>Serena holds out her left hand and tucks all but her ring finger into her palm. “This one.” Her tone is firm again, so Bernie slides it on, then lifts Serena’s hand and kisses her knuckles, then turns her hand over and kisses the palm, before trailing her lips up to her wrist, nosing the sleeve of her pyjama top aside so that she can lap at the delicate skin there.</p><p>“Bernie,” Serena sighs. She cups Bernie’s cheek and lifts her face. “Come here, love.”</p><p>They kiss more heatedly and when Serena begins unbuttoning her pyjama top Bernie feels a thrill of anticipation slide down her spine.</p><p>“Serena,” she groans.</p><p>A sudden clatter from downstairs startles them both, and Serena quickly slides out of bed, pulls on her robe, and with a muttered apology, hurries out of the room. Bernie sighs softly, then rebuttons her pyjama top, pulls her robe back on, and makes her way downstairs. </p><p>“What the hell?” demands Serena angrily from the kitchen, so Bernie hurries in that direction, to find a somewhat confusing scene laid out before her: the smallest kitchen window is hanging open, and quite a bit of snow has blown inside, along with a small grey kitten, apparently. It, plus a couple of the cooking utensils which Serena had laid out the night before in readiness for preparing the turkey crown for lunch, are on the floor, the kitten mewing piteously and looking half frozen. </p><p>Bernie stoops and scoops it up, cradling it against her chest. Serena gives her a look that is half resignation, half acceptance, then bends to pick up the fallen utensils.</p><p>“What happened Aunty Serena, Aunty Bernie? Was it a burglar?” asks Jason.</p><p>Bernie turns towards him and sees Greta behind, a sleepy Guin in her arms, and behind them are Cam, Morven, and Charlie.</p><p>“No,” Bernie tells them. “The weather seems to have pulled that window open and blown in some snow and a kitten.”</p><p>“Aw, it’s so tiny,” says Morven.</p><p>“Has it got a collar and tag, Madre?” asks Cam.</p><p>“No. It’s possible that it’s the kitten of a farm cat. There are a couple of farms not too far away.”</p><p>“I’d like to clear up in here so I can get started on preparing lunch,” Serena says in a firm tone, so Bernie turns and ushers everyone out, suggesting that they can either go back to bed or go and get dressed.</p><p>“Nice belt, Madre,” says Cam in a teasing tone.</p><p>“It is, actually,” Bernie tells him. “It’s an infrared heating belt for my back. It means I no longer have to drag heavy hot water bottles around when my back’s playing me up.”</p><p>“That’s a really good idea,” says Morven approvingly.</p><p>“It is,” Bernie agrees. She then raises her eyebrows at them and to her relief they turn around and make their way back upstairs. Bernie then returns to the kitchen where she finds Serena struggling to shut the window. The snow that had lain across the window ledge and the counter is now melting in a bucket on the floor.</p><p>“As soon as I’m dressed I’ll sort that window out,” Bernie says, and steps up behind Serena to help her to tug on the window until it bangs against the frame.</p><p>“I suppose you plan on keeping the kitten?” Serena asks in a grudging tone.</p><p>“For the next couple of days, at least,” Bernie agrees. “I can hardly toss it back out into the snow.”</p><p>Serena sighs. “I know.”</p><p>Bernie wraps her arms around Serena and kisses her gently. “Not quite the start to Christmas Day we were anticipating, eh?”</p><p>“No,” Serena agrees with another sigh. “Where is the cat?”</p><p>“In the pocket of my robe,” Bernie says with a chuckle.</p><p>Serena snorts. “You’d better find it something for a bed and a litter tray that isn’t in here. I don’t want it underfoot while I’m trying to cook.”</p><p>“Understood,” Bernie says. She pecks Serena’s lips again, then lets herself out of the kitchen into what used to be the laundry room many decades ago and is now a general purpose utility room. She grabs a cardboard box that’s waiting to go out for recycling and lines it with newspapers and a couple of her old, worn t-shirts that have been put aside to be turned into rags. She sets the kitten down in the box and it mews a bit, then turns around in circles before settling down in a small grey heap of fur. </p><p>“Poor little mite,” she says softly, stroking it with a fingertip. “You’re barely more than a scrap, aren’t you? And I’ve no idea how you ended up here when the nearest farm’s more than half a mile away and through heavy snow.” </p><p>The tiny creature begins purring and she strokes it a little longer before getting to her feet and wondering what she can use as a litter tray. Then she spots a pile of discarded seed trays and grabs one. She fills it with shredded newspaper, after lining it with another old t-shirt first.</p><p>“Alright, kitty,” she says softly, setting the tray down a short distance away from the bed. “I’ll get you some water and something to eat.”</p><p>Returning to the kitchen she finds Serena is now dressed in navy blue slacks and her usual Christmas sweater, and is showing off her promise ring to Jason and Greta. Jason is carrying a tray full of mugs which smell of coffee and tea, while Greta has a second tray loaded with plates, napkins and a freshly warmed through apple and cinnamon loaf.</p><p>“Is the kitten secured, Aunty Bernie?” Jason asks on noticing her arrival.</p><p>“Yes, Jason. I’ve made up a bed and a litter tray for it. I’m just going to get it some water and something to eat.”</p><p>“There’s the remains of the roast chicken we had for Sunday lunch in the fridge,” Serena says. “Give it some of that.”</p><p>“Okay. Thanks.”</p><p>Serena shoos Jason and Greta out, reminding them that their breakfast will get cold if they remain chatting in the kitchen, and Bernie grabs a couple of saucers from the cupboard. She shreds a bit of chicken breast onto one saucer, then half fills the other one with water, before she realises that because she shut the door to the utility room, to prevent the kitten escaping, she now cannot re-enter the room while carrying two saucers.</p><p>“Here,” Serena says, taking pity on Bernie and opening the door for her.</p><p>“Thanks, love.” Bernie gives her a grateful smile, then carries the saucers into the utility room. The kitten is fast asleep and she puts the saucers down on the opposite side of the cardboard box to where she left the litter tray. She resists the urge to stroke or snuggle the kitten, leaving it undisturbed, before slipping back into the kitchen again.</p><p>“I’d better go and get dressed,” she observes to Serena on her return.</p><p>“And have some breakfast. I don’t want you keeling over on me because your blood sugar’s dropped too low.”</p><p>“Good point,” Bernie agrees. She drops a kiss to Serena’s temple, gives her a quick squeeze and a cheeky smile, then makes her way upstairs. </p><p>It’s only when she goes to pull off her pyjama top that she remembers the heating belt, which has been doing sterling work in warming up her aching back. So much so, she realises, that she’s yet to need to take any painkillers.</p><p>She sighs in satisfaction, then unfastens the belt and leaves it on the bed, before she pulls off her pyjamas and gets herself dressed. She puts the belt back on underneath her own Christmas sweater, then makes her way downstairs to find Serena is just sliding the turkey crown into the oven to begin cooking.</p><p>They make their way into the sitting room where their guests are drinking tea or coffee according to their tastes and eating slices of apple and cinnamon loaf slathered in butter.</p><p>“I hope you’ve saved some for us,” Bernie says, and Cam immediately cuts them thick slices which Charlie butters, before handing them each a plate and a mug of coffee.</p><p>“There you go, mums,” Charlie says, then blushes.</p><p>“Mums?” Bernie repeats, eyebrows raised.</p><p>“That’s my fault, I’m afraid, Ms Wolfe,” Morven says, looking a little stricken. “I told them how I always thought of you and Ms Campbell as the ‘mums’ of AAU.”</p><p>“Because we’re old?” Serena asks in a silky tone.</p><p>Morven swallows. “No, because you took such good care of everyone on the ward. Jasmine –” She stops, looking stricken and Bernie, who’s nearest, reaches over and squeezes her knee, both of them thinking of the bright young woman who’d been taken from them too soon. “Jasmine and Dom, even Donna, used to call you that, too, out of earshot.”</p><p>“Think of it this way, love,” Bernie says to Serena. “They could have been calling us ‘dragons’ instead.”</p><p>This elicits laughter and Serena shakes her head, then says, “Mums it is, then.”</p><p>“Can I call you Aunties, instead?” Jason asks earnestly.</p><p>“Of course you can, love,” Serena says immediately.</p><p>“I don’t know what to call you,” Greta says. “You’re not my mother or my aunt, either of you.”</p><p>“You can just call us Bernie and Serena, as before,” Serena assures her. </p><p>“Okay.”</p><p>“Good.”</p><p>“Where’s the kitten, Ms Wolfe?”</p><p>“Bernie, please, Morven,” she reminds her gently. “In the utility room, supplied with a cardboard box bed, a seed tray for a litter tray, and some chicken and water.”</p><p>“Are you going to keep it, mum?” asks Charlie.</p><p>“That depends on whether or not it’s someone’s kitten or just the kitten of a farm cat,” Bernie says. “And whether or not Serena can bear to live with a lively kitten underfoot.”</p><p>“I live with you, don’t I?” Serena retorts, to much general laughter.</p><p>“I’m wounded!” gasps Bernie, clutching at her heart, to more laughter.</p><p>Eventually they finish up their breakfast, and Greta and Morven clear the detritus away to the kitchen, then return for present opening. Charlie and Morven designate themselves Elves to hand out gifts in turn. </p><p>“Mum 1,” Charlie says, passing Bernie a gift. “And Mum 2.” She passes a gift to Serena, and they open them to find matching scarves, knitted by Greta. Bernie’s is green with red robins, while Serena’s is red with green mistletoe leaves. They both thank Greta, then watch as Greta’s gifts to Jason, Charlie, Cam, and Morven are handed over. Everyone else has a knitted item too, either a hat or a pair of gloves. Jason’s gifts are books and Bernie can still recall the conversation she and Serena had had with him regarding suitable books for Cam, Charlie, and Morven. </p><p>Cameron and Morven have clubbed together to buy them a new, rather expensive  coffeemaker since Serena’s, which she’d brought with her when she and Bernie had moved to Heather Cottage, was inclined to be temperamental on occasion as it was several years old. Meanwhile Charlie’s bought them a gift certificate to use at the St Ives Harbour Hotel’s HARSpa. </p><p>“They’ve got a swimming pool, a hydrotherapy pool, a sauna, a steam room, and a fitness suite, and they offer massage and facial treatments,” Charlie tells them. “The gift certificate is sufficient to cover a one night spa break, or you can book a Refresh Spa Morning session each, or a Revive Spa Afternoon session each, or even a HARSpa Twilight session each.”</p><p>“Thanks, love, that’s really thoughtful of you,” Bernie says. </p><p>“Thank you, Charlie, that’s a wonderful gift,” Serena says, looking incredibly pleased at the prospect, Bernie notices.</p><p>Once all the gifts are shared out, their guests decide to go for a walk since it’s no longer snowing, but Greta asks if she can leave Guin with them as she doesn’t want to risk the toddler catching a cold. </p><p>“Of course,” Bernie says immediately. The little girl has gone back to sleep again after the excitement of opening her gifts with Daddy’s help, so once the wrapping paper has all been cleared away and bagged up to go into the recycling bin, Jason and the others pull on coats and shoes, hats, scarves, and gloves, and head out for a bracing walk for an hour or so. </p><p>Serena carries Guin, who is fast asleep in her baby bouncer chair, into the kitchen and sets her down in the corner where she won’t be in the way, and Bernie, after she’s seen their guests off, joins her.</p><p>“Do you want me to start peeling potatoes?” she asks.</p><p>“Yes, please.” Serena looks down at her ring, then back up at Bernie. “Thank you so much for this.”</p><p>Bernie slides her arms around her and kisses her. “You’re very welcome.” They spend several minutes indulging in kisses without interruption, then pull apart reluctantly. “I want to take you upstairs and ravish you,” she says in a low voice.</p><p>Serena shivers in her arms. “It would have to be a quick ravishment,” she says, squeezing Bernie’s ass and grinding herself against Bernie’s thigh, which has somehow found its way between Serena’s legs.</p><p>“I know,” Bernie murmurs. She slips a hand between their bodies and unfastens Serena’s trousers, while their tongues tangle together in a frenzied kiss. </p><p>Serena groans when Bernie’s fingers slip inside her knickers and slide over her mound, straight between her legs. “Oh fuck!”</p><p>“That’s the plan, love.” Bernie’s delighted to find that Serena’s already slick and she’s quick to take advantage, working on driving Serena to a climax as fast as possible. Serena buries her face in the crook of Bernie’s neck, gasping and moaning as Bernie works her higher and higher, until she comes with a keening sound that she muffles in Bernie’s sweater.</p><p>Afterwards they both glance over at Guin, but she remains undisturbed, to their immense relief.</p><p>“I should finish what I started before the misadventure with the kitten,” Serena says.</p><p>“I should fix that window,” Bernie counters. “I forgot that I hadn’t done that yet.” She kisses Serena swiftly, then moves over to the sink to wash her hands. “I’ll wait for you to reciprocate later.”</p><p>“Are you sure?”</p><p>“Absolutely. Let me sort out this window, then I’ll come and help you prepare the vegetables.”</p><p>“Okay.”</p><p>Bernie goes to grab her boots and coat, remembering to also pull on her new scarf from Greta, and to tug on the beanie that Serena had knitted for her some weeks ago. Then she goes into the utility room to grab her toolkit, peeking in at the kitten, who is sleeping still. She notes it’s both eaten most of the chicken and used the litter tray, and she pauses to scritch its head before taking her toolkit outside to fix the broken catch.</p><p>“The wind must have really slammed into this,” she observes to Serena through the open window as she quickly works to unscrew the damaged fitting.</p><p>“I imagine it did,” Serena replies, glancing over at Bernie as she begins making the sage and onion stuffing to go with the turkey crown. “There was certainly enough snow in here. I’m just surprised the window didn’t crack.”</p><p>“I’m very glad that it didn’t,” Bernie says. “Imagine trying to get a glazier out on Christmas Day. It would cost a small fortune, assuming you could get someone to come out.”</p><p>“True,” Serena agrees. She’s chopping up an onion and Bernie marvels once again that chopping onions never seems to make her cry in the way it does Bernie. She usually has tears streaming down her face to the point where she has to stop chopping in order to dry her eyes before she accidentally chops her finger instead because she cannot see what she’s doing clearly enough. Serena just seems to get moist eyes and it always makes Bernie feel absurdly jealous.</p><p>She turns her attention back to her own task, reminding herself that she can stare at Serena all she wants in the warmth of the kitchen if she finishes this repair soon. She chuckles softly to herself, then makes herself concentrate on getting the job done. Besides, it’s too cold to be standing around outside for any length of time.</p><p>She lets herself back into the kitchen, then groans softly as the warmth from the oven hits her and she feels her face and fingers tingling.</p><p>“Alright?” Serena asks.</p><p>Bernie nods. “It’s just a bit chilly out there compared to in here.”</p><p>Serena chuckles. “Unsurprisingly.”</p><p>Bernie sticks her tongue out, then carries her toolkit into the utility room. The kitten hasn’t stirred and she leaves it to its dreams, before moving back into the kitchen. She quickly sheds her outdoor clothes and her boots, carrying them into the hall where they belong, then returns to the kitchen where Serena’s still busy with the sage and onion stuffing. </p><p>“Do you want to hook up the new coffeemaker?” she suggests as Bernie moves to join her at the counter. “I could do with something strong and hot.”</p><p>“And I won’t do?” Bernie ripostes, enjoying the look of incredulity that crosses Serena’s face before she starts laughing.</p><p>“I walked into that one, didn’t I?” she asks once she’s caught her breath.</p><p>“Yes, you did,” agrees Bernie cheerfully, before unplugging the old coffeemaker and carrying it through to the utility room to be dealt with at a later date. She unpacks the new coffeemaker from its box and sets it up on the counter, then skim reads the instructions, before setting it up. Within a surprisingly short time she has two nice strong coffees brewed and she sets Serena’s down within reach of where she’s finishing up making the stuffing balls, before setting her own down near where she’s going to be peeling potatoes.</p><p>By the time their guests get back most of the food prep is done so Bernie and Serena join them in the sitting room for more cups of tea and coffee, and newly baked gingerbread Santas as a snack to keep them going until lunch is served.</p><p>They put on <i>A Muppet Christmas Carol</i>, which Bernie and her children used to watch routinely on Christmas Day when they were small children, and which she and Serena have both seen often enough not to mind missing bits while they finish prepping lunch. Guin, who is awake again, seems entranced by the Muppets, to everyone’s amusement, and Jason makes a note to purchase the DVD for Guin to watch again once they’re at home. </p><p>They finally settle around the dining table at one o’clock prompt, and Bernie carves the turkey crown, with Serena piling slices onto everyone’s plates, then they help themselves to roast potatoes, stuffing, pigs in blankets, Brussel sprouts, roast parsnips, shredded cabbage, and gravy.</p><p>“This is quite the feast, Serena,” Morven observes. “Thank you. Thank you both.”</p><p>Bernie smiles at her. “To be honest, Serena did the bulk of the work. I just chopped, peeled, shredded, and supplied the necessary cups of strong, hot coffee. And thank you, both of you, for that new coffeemaker. It’s excellent – very easy to use.”</p><p>“Good,” says Morven with a grin.</p><p>“I’m glad you like it,” Cam adds, also grinning.</p><p>They eat and talk, Serena’s Christmas music playlist in the background again, and after the remains (of which there are few) of the main course have been cleared away, along with plates, cutlery and napkins, Serena carries in the Christmas pudding, which Bernie sets alight once the dining room lights has been switched off to add to the atmosphere.</p><p>There’s a collective “Ooh!” from everyone as the brandy goes up in flames, then Charlie turns the lights back on, and Serena serves up slices of pudding and the jug of custard makes its way around the table.</p><p>After the pudding, Cam and Morven, with Charlie’s assistance, clear the table and load up the dishwasher, and Bernie and Serena, after Bernie has left some morsels of turkey for the kitten, go upstairs for a rest since they were both awake early, and their guests decide to play Monopoly and put on another Christmas film.</p><p>“Are we getting old?” Serena asks as they make their way upstairs.</p><p>“Well, technically, yes,” Bernie says carefully, not wanting to be swatted for the admission.</p><p>Serena sighs. “I suppose we are.”</p><p>“Never mind, love, there’s still life in the old dog yet.” That does earn her a swat, for calling Serena an old dog.</p><p>They kick off their slippers and Bernie takes off the heating belt, then they lie down on top of the bedcovers and snuggle up together. </p><p>“Are you going to go to sleep?” Serena asks.</p><p>“Maybe,” Bernie says. Then she stifles a yawn, making Serena chuckle softly. “But maybe there’s some way to ensure I stay awake.” She waggles her eyebrows exaggeratedly and Serena laughs again.</p><p>“Maybe we should take off our clothes so that they don’t get too rumpled,” she suggests. </p><p>Bernie sits up and eases her skinny jeans down her legs, then she pulls her sweater over her head, before swiftly unbuttoning her shirt. Serena, beside her, sheds her trousers, sweater, and camisole top, leaving them both in their bras and knickers (Serena) and boxers (Bernie). Serena doesn’t wait for Bernie to lie down again, she just pounces, pushing the blonde down onto the bed, then settling her body over Bernie’s.</p><p>“Well hello gorgeous,” Bernie says.</p><p>“Hello yourself,” Serena says, then lowers her head to kiss her in a languid fashion. Bernie moans as Serena’s tongue delves deeply into her mouth and her right hand skims down Bernie’s side, her nails lightly scratching at Bernie’s skin. She groans into Serena’s mouth, then groans a second time when Serena’s hand slips between their bodies and cups Bernie’s mound.</p><p>“Please,” she gasps, tearing her mouth away from her lover’s. “Serena!”</p><p>“It’s alright, love, I’ve got you,” Serena coos. “I’ve got you.” She teases at Bernie’s entrance with a single fingertip, then circles her clit and Bernie’s hips jump, making Serena chuckle against her mouth. “Steady on now, or you might dislodge me, and you don’t want your children and the others to come rushing upstairs to investigate the crash.</p><p>“Then don’t. Be. A. Tease,” Bernie stutters out. “Please!”</p><p>Thankfully, Serena takes pity on her and slides two fingers into her, finding her already slick and ready. Bernie grunts, then gasps, “More. Please.”</p><p>Serena obliges by adding a third finger and Bernie groans in pleasure at the stretch. She soon has a good rhythm going, her thrusts deep and hard, and Bernie’s hips jump and twitch in response, until finally an intense orgasm explodes through her body, and for a moment Bernie blacks out.</p><p>She comes back to herself to find Serena’s damp fingers resting on her thigh and the woman herself lying alongside Bernie rather than atop her. “Wow,” she says, her voice gone husky. </p><p>Serena gives her a smug look and Bernie rolls her eyes at her. She opens her mouth to speak, but Serena rests the tips of the fingers that have been inside her against her lower lip, and Bernie doesn’t hesitate to suck Serena’s fingers into her mouth, swirling her tongue around them to get them clean, while savouring the taste of herself on Serena’s skin. It is quite a heady sensation. Eventually she lets Serena retrieve her fingers, then kisses her deeply while sliding her hands down over her lover’s delightful curves. </p><p>“I need some clean boxers,” she says eventually. “These are quite damp.”</p><p>“Mmhmm.” Serena shifts against her, then says, “You did gush a bit.” She pulls them down and tosses them in the general direction of the laundry hamper, then moves down the bed and positions herself between Bernie’s thighs.</p><p>“Oh,” Bernie says, a little surprised. “You don’t have to do that, you know.”</p><p>“Of course I don’t,” Serena agrees, “but I want to. Unless you don’t want me to?”</p><p>“Oh, yes I do. Please.”</p><p>Serena smirks, then lowers her head and Bernie has to stifle a loud moan of pleasure as her lover’s tongue circles her clit. </p><p>~ ~ ~ ~ ~ </p><p>When they get downstairs, showered and dressed again, it’s to find that Jason has just won the game of Monopoly. Bernie settles herself back into her usual spot on the sofa while Serena goes to get them both a drink, and little Guin toddles up and grabs her shins. </p><p>“Up, Bunny, up!” she demands.</p><p>Bernie leans forward and hoists the little girl into the air, then bounces her down onto her lap. She is extremely grateful for Serena’s gift as her back doesn’t even twinge at this.</p><p>“Hello little one. Have you been a good girl?”</p><p>“’es,” Guin says. “’guin.” She points at the floor and Bernie frowns down, then spots the penguin soft toy which had held her attention earlier. Charlie scoops it up and gives to Bernie, who thanks her, then passes it to Guinevere, who cuddles it close, murmuring quietly to it.</p><p>Serena comes in and smiles at the sight of her with Guin and the penguin cuddled up on her lap.</p><p>“Hello you two,” she says and kisses Guin on the nose, then nuzzles her nose against Bernie’s.</p><p>“S’r’na.” Guin waves the penguin toy vigorously, almost knocking Bernie’s cup of tea all over her. Serena quickly takes it from Bernie and sets it on a coaster on the end table. </p><p>“I presume you’d rather drink that than wear it?”</p><p>“Preferably,” Bernie agrees. “Thanks.”</p><p>“You’re welcome.”</p><p>Serena sits as close as she can and Bernie slips the arm that’s not wrapped around Guinevere around her lover, feeling incredibly happy and incredibly lucky to be with Serena and her family. When she’d walked away from Serena in <i>Albie’s</i> that day she hadn’t dared to hope that she’d ever get back together with Serena, and she’d never dreamt that she could enjoy this kind of domestic bliss with her. </p><p>“Merry Christmas, love,” she whispers, pressing her lips to Serena’s temple.</p><p>“Merry Christmas, my darling.”</p><p>A moment later there’s a flash and when Bernie looks up, there’s Jason, phone in hand, grinning at them both as he glances down at it, then he shows them the photo that he’s just taken.</p><p>Bernie grins at how happy she looks. “Merry Christmas, everyone.”</p><p>“Merry Christmas Bernie, Serena,” they chorus.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Chapter titles from a quote by Agnes M. Pahro:</p><p> </p><p> <i>What is Christmas? It is tenderness for the past, courage for the present, hope for the future.</i></p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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